constant struggle with my weight

I know that I have not been in touch with you all in awhile about my weight loss. Well, unfortunately it has stopped,ha. I was doing so well, but just couldn't keep it up.

For one it was too expensive. The shakes were $110.00 dollars a week! I even started eating a meal at supper time to get rid of one shake a day and it still was going to cost me $82.50 a week for the shakes. Just couldn't do it anymore.

I need to look for a different way to go! I am going to call my insurance and ask them about the lapband surgery. I have heard great news about this surgery from ones who have had it done. There is only a cut in your belly button and no cutting on the inside from what I understand. I need to do something before I die! My husband needs to do it too. I hope we will be able to do it together.

I have struggled with my weight my whole life. It is a constant battle. I went to counseling for it in my teen years because I was Bulimic. I found myself starting to do the vomiting again (a few times) while on these shakes when I did eat and I knew right away that it was not the way for me to go no matter how much I need to loose weight. Lord, give me the will power! I need to find a way for this to happen once and for all.

Thanks for listening.

Baby Girls Gone Too Soon

I was walking my dog the other night. It was very late like around 12:30 when I was walking my dog. I am a night owl. Come to find out my neighbor is also a night owl. He was out with his dog as well. He said he had been meaning to talk to me because he heard that my husband and I had lost a daughter. He starting asking me about our situation and what happened and he then told me he had lost a baby girl as well with his ex-wife (he is re-married to my neighbor across the street now). He said that his wife was full term and it was time to deliver the baby and there was no heartbeat. They delivered their baby girl in his arms and she couldn't even cry for them. I felt so bad for him. He said their baby was buried over where our baby is in the same area.

It is so strange how some things happen to come about. He must have needed to talk about it because we talked a little while. It must have been meant for us to run in to each other that night (early morning). It just goes to show you that no matter how depressed and lonely you feel, there is someone out there that feels the same way you do. My neighbor and I just happened to run in to each other that night and I believe that we both must have needed to talk about it. It sure did make my chest feel much lighter afterwards.

No matter how much pain you feel. I always have to keep it in the back of my mind, that there are always others out there even lots more worse off then yourself or they have the same hurts as you do.

It is so hard to live with the "void" but I need to remember that others are going through the same thing. My neighbor happens to be one of them.

I need to remember to keep the strenghth, it is so hard.

Thanks for listening!